pockets.

so today i had this revelation about pockets.   they just aren't all that they are hyped up to be.  i mean they come in all shapes, styles, and sizes.  but are they really that good?  things have gotten so bad that they have started to make fake pockets.  and that is where i drew the line....

to start things off...the change pocket?  we've all got them, but what do you do with them?  you put change in them, but then it is stuck forever....and as we all know that's just no good for anyone.  yes a penny saved is a penny earned, but what happens when that penny gets stuck in the pocket of doom.  then it just turns into foolishness.

now to jean pockets.  do you have any idea how many problems these have caused?  you put your cell phone in it, but it still sticks half out because your pocket is so small.  then your cell phone falls out at the most inopportune moment.  like in the toilet.  in the middle of a mosh pit.  on a roller coaster.  on the classroom floor....the list goes on, but to save you i will not continue.  

then we've got the fake pockets....what happens when you go to try and put something in it?  it doesn't go in.  these are by far the silliest of all.  

then the washer issue.  we all have left important homework, money, chapstick...in out pockets.  then the washing machine.  and we all know what happens after that.

lastly, have any of you ever bought a pocket Bible or dictionary that actually fit in your pocket?  (please exclude cargo pants, that is a whole new issue that i will save for a later date).

here is my proposal.  the immediate removal of pockets from all jeans.  anyone who refuses to comply with this proposal will face imprisonment, or worse the removal of their pockets by force.